Wednesday, December 3, 2008

time machines in blunderland

Hello from Blunderland! Blunderland you see is a special place. It's where I live: blundering through life in general. This morning was an all out blunder in side affect village, where everyone in my imagination has a side affect they can call their own, sort of like the seven dwarfs except their isn't any Sleeping beauty - there's just me. Dopey, slurring words and blurred eyesight were this morning's side affects brought to you by "Lyrica" at the moment my hero and villain. My hero because the percocet for my head pain stays in the bottle unused. It's a bad guy in side affect village though. I don't have an addictive personality, thank goodness. I guess on the mean streets in blunderland people want to sell that stuff, and I can't really imagine why. I hate all my narcotic pain meds for my chronic migraine and fibromyalgia and not having to use them is a blessing to me. But there's a story there. Lets digress for a moment and take a trip on the blunderland time machine - cue - harp and wavey lines. This past June I had a radical treatment to push the "reset" button for my brain. One can only hope it wasn't like the restart button for Windows XP. As in my program was :"not responding" and needed to end. I was given enough valium to kill a horse - all in intensive care for five days, it was termed a "light coma," in Blunderland there is no "light" anything. I remember bits and pieces. After I came out of the coma and was in the present, they called my partner to come pick me up. What he found was someone who was acting as if I had two bottles of Scotch. He complained to the nurses that due to the hospital mixing in some drugs they shouldn't have while I was de-coma-ing I was worse than I had been while I was in the coma. So I couldn't escape from blunderland's hospital and I was stuck in the there another night as I woke up from the valium and other goodies. After the hospital stay I was told by my neurologist that I needed to see a headache "specialist." Specialists are royalty in Blunderland but they can also be evil. Since - in waking up from the coma I did in fact hit several, "not responding" windows the specialist was going to be my prince and fix me like a broken computer at Best Buy. He was not. All because I blundered and was honest about how many narcotic pain meds I actually had - dating back to 2003 - cumulatively. As in I have had five prescribed over a period of years, not all at the same time. His name was Doc specialist as we will refer to him in blunderland. He made a decision that I was addicted to my pain meds. Something just not possible with me, as I said I don't have an addictive personality, and most importantly I don't like them. I only use them for my worst pain and often have to be kicked into taking them by my partner because I wait and wait and he has to remind me that I don't have to suffer so much. Often late in the game, I take them. They are called "rescue" medication.
Long story short, it had been months and fast forward to an appointment with my neurologist. He didn't want to implement many of the changes the specialist recommended i.e. occipital injections - (injections of lidocaine and steroid in the back of the neck to reduce inflamation of the nerve - a series of them) and I was told to call the specialist back for further treatment. When I did the receptionist pulled my file and said he would not work with me and that I needed to see an additictionologist. I didn't even know what that was. Without fully understanding why I had those narcotic pain meds and how they were prescribed over five years as my GP (he is my prince because he actually listens to me) and me tried to find the one that would work the best, Doc Specialist decided that I was addicted to pain medication. Ludicrous, if you really know me - I don't want to stumble around in blunderland all doped up on pain meds. So now it's in a chart, written down by Doc Specialist. Great. Doc Specialist was by the way an osteopath how this qualified him to be a headache "specialist" I'll never know because he won't see me even though I was not asking for him to prescribe anything. Under the hipa rules I can ask for a copy of my chart and I can write a letter detailing that what Doc. "Specialist" said was bogus and detail how it is dead wrong. Basically a letter of protest. I count my days when I don't have to take pain medication. Right now it is 14 days with nothing because the Lyrica which I basically self-prescribed (asked my GP if we could try it even though my ins. doesn't cover it) is working well. In fact, it's a miracle drug at this moment in time. An "addictionologist" however you spell it is not necessary. It's a cruel joke. So there you have a little bg. A day without head pain is a day in blunderland heaven and today? I'm swimming with the angels! Going to get my haircut. In blunderland I don't like people who massacre my curly, thinning locks so I yes pay thirty dollars for a haircut. Remember that recent president on the runway? Wasn't that a 400 dollar haircut? So thirty is not so bad and lets put it this way - in blunderland G-d gives you one head and someone at Great Clips is not going to touch the blunderland locks. And I get a great scalp massage. Okay.Okay. Thirty is a little much in an economic downturn. There's a recession in blunderland too. The idiot economists just decided yesterday that yes, we are in a recession. But I have to be on stage and perform with my cello and piano duo so I have to look good. It's the one luxury I allow at the moment. One of my big dogs is in here all the time when I'm at the computer. He farts and snores! Ah the "best-life" of a dog in blunderland. They are the true royalty in blunderland. My auras, a blunderland constant, are making this look like the song words with the bouncing ball at the moment and my keyboard just turned blue. Since I have auras all the time - I can't use it to predict a migraine like so many of my fellow migraine sufferers. So long from blunderland - be well!


deborah said...

Welcome back to blogland! I knew you could do it, now to keep them coming! waiting for that CD, by the way. Good luck this weekend.

Lynne said...

Ian - Your riding on a very sharp edge, and unfortunately I feel your pain. I recently started going to the Michigan Head Pain and Neurological Institute, where I have been treated with great respect and support. They kept the good (Cymbalta for Fibromyalgia), but tossed the other, half-hearted levels/combinations of medication I've been on - I've gone from 5+ migraines per week with aura, and aura in between, to 2, with only the minor spark, here and there. I, too have some evidence of Migraine, and age, in my brain scans, which the MHBND doctor fully explained, and reassured me about. Their thoughts are that pain begets more pain, and that "toughing it out," for work, performances, etc., is a dangerous way to go, that it is far better to ramp up to excellent prevention, and then the correct acute treatment, so that you can function, usually in concert (pun intended) with your schedule. Insurance coverage was an issue for me, but this group found a physician among them that participated in my plan, luckily. Perhaps you can find a similar group near you, or come to the MHPI for evaluation, yourself. Many patients come, then stay for inpatient stays to readjust their medications and get their status resolved. I am going to sign off to check out your music now. You're in my prayers, Lynne